Host, Ghost, and Guest
Written March 2023Notes: A one-act play I wrote for my Creative Writing class. I'm still very happy with it!
NIKOLAS ELLINGTON-- Young-looking, raven-haired vampire with a bulky frame and deceivingly kind eyes. Owner of the house.
BAILEY WOODROW-- Semi-corporeal ghost with a rough exterior and burly personality. Haunting the house.
WILLIAM MOORE— Stocky, plain-looking son of a businessman who takes most things at face-value. Guest in the house.
Dark evening in late autumn, many decades in our past.
An elaborate dining room in a mansion as old as anyone can remember. A golden chandelier hangs above the round dining table, set with a velvet tablecloth and silver platters full of rich-man's food. Wine glasses sit in front of the seats for three attendants. The area is dimly lit, and feels alive, despite the house being largely empty.
(Three characters enter from stage right and take their seats at the table. Lights are dim, and murmuring can be heard from the three. Lights come up as they sit, and their conversation comes into audibility.)
NIKOLAS: Your father is a great man, you know. I’ve never seen someone take such ludicrous control over a market so quickly!
WILLIAM: Oh, yes, believe me I know it! (Laughs.) The future for the ink industry has never looked so bright. Or, dark, and permanent, and easy to write with. (He smiles at his own joke.)
BAILEY, rolling her eyes: You sound as if you’re about ready to become a walking advertisement, Nick.
NIKOLAS: Well, I’m not fully sold quite yet, Bailey. (Shooting her a pointed glance.) That is why he’s here, right? I need to make sure I’m representing an ethical company! One run by good people. (He smiles toward William.)
WILLIAM: I can assure you of that! Our ink is harvested from only the finest-- er, healthiest, ah, ethically farmed plant charcoal! Yes, that’s it. Smoothest inks this side of the valley!
NIKOLAS: A wonder to use, I’m sure.
BAILEY: (Butting in quickly.) Now, William, tell me-- What do you plan to do after our dinner? Surely you cannot expect to stay the full night.
NIKOLAS: (Interrupting her.) Though we do have plenty of room!
WILLIAM: Oh, I’m not quite sure, yet. Your house seems lovely and you two seem like very bright people, but if business is taken care of, I have no reason to stay...
NIKOLAS: Oh, but you must!
BAILEY: (Quickly.) Yet we should take care of business as soon as possible.
(A pause.)
(William picks up his fork to poke at his food.)
WILLIAM: This meal looks wonderful, who are your cooks? Was there a kitchen I never saw?
(Nikolas and Bailey look at each other briefly with wry expressions.)
NIKOLAS: No, er, yes. Our cooks have gone out for the day, you see-- they only work part time.
(William sticks a bite of the food into his mouth and savors it for a moment, before swallowing.)
WILLIAM: Well, tell them they did a fantastic job.
(A pause.)
BAILEY: So, about the business...?
NIKOLAS: Yes, about the business.
WILLIAM: Oh! About the business. My father would like you to represent our company, Mr. Ellington. You are a very wealthy and respectable man. A man with your taste endorsing our product would do wonders for our sales! And perhaps an investment could be in order as well?
NIKOLAS: Perhaps, perhaps. My money is very old, you see, I do not have a lot of expenses in my life. It would be such a process going all the way down to the bank, and I’m not quite sure yet if it’s worth it!
(William looks ready to respond, but Bailey jumps in.)
BAILEY: Oh, please, is it too much trouble? Our wonderful guest here has given you plenty of fantastic reasons to support this venture!
NIKOLAS: Well, yes, but--
BAILEY: (Interrupting.) Besides, it’s getting quite dark out. The days are getting shorter again, he should really get going before all the light is gone. Who knows what may happen if he stays any longer?
(William looks up at her, startled, a bite of food halfway in his mouth. It should be noted that he is the only one eating.)
WILLIAM: What ever could you mean?
NIKOLAS: Yes, Bailey, what are you insinuating? Surely, he could stay till morning if the dangers truly are so great. There is a nice guest room just next to mine-- cleaned out and everything!
BAILEY: Haven’t you two heard? They’re saying there are evils about, around this time of year.
(William suddenly begins to look a bit frightened.)
WILLIAM: Yes! Yes, I have heard! Thank you for reminding me! Oh, what are they saying? Vampires and lycanthropes and spirits and such!
NIKOLAS: (Glaring at Bailey.) Please, those are just tales. You have nothing to fear, now. You should stay, you are perfectly safe here.
BAILEY: We have been known to get rats.
WILLIAM: Rats?!
BAILEY: (Grinning.) Rats.
NIKOLAS: No, we do not have rats! Nor roaches, nor flies, nor snakes! And that’s that! You are fine here!
(William shudders.)
BAILEY: You can never be sure! I found a spider in my window just a few days ago!
NIKOLAS: You did not! It was a simple trick of the eye! You know the lighting can be dim...
BAILEY: And, the night is getting colder by the minute. There could be a storm! Shaking the whole house!
(As if on cue, there is a loud rattle from somewhere upstairs. William yelps.)
NIKOLAS: (Nudging Bailey harshly with his knee.) Cut that out! There is nothing to be afraid of!
BAILEY: You have no way to prove that, you know. Why don’t we finish up our business here and help William move along. I’m sure you’ve made up your mind about this business deal already.
NIKOLAS: Perhaps I have, but it is much too dark already. The dangers outside are much greater than the potential ones in this house. He should stay!
BAILEY: No! Time is of the essence! He needs to--
(William stands up abruptly, causing the table to rattle loudly.)
WILLIAM: I need to go! To the restroom!
(Bailey and Nikolas snap to look at him.)
NIKOLAS: (Takes a breath and points down the hall.) It’s just down there.
WILLIAM: (Smiles politely.) Thank you.
(William exits stage left.)
(Beat of silence.)
BAILEY: (Snapping at Nikolas.) Why are you so determined to ruin this for me?
NIKOLAS: I could ask you the very same thing!
BAILEY: Oh, please! I know you haven’t been as starved as I am. You can go out and feed on any townspeople you like, I must wait for someone here!
NIKOLAS: You have no idea what you’re talking about! I do not feed on the townspeople; I’ve been just as hungry as you!
BAILEY: At least you have the choice!
NIKOLAS: I do not! They would poach me if I was ever found!
BAILEY: And they would exorcise me! Let me have this, Nick! I haven’t terrified a man in so long, I grow less physical by the day!
NIKOLAS: Spare me the details, Bailey.
BAILEY: Did you see his expression? He would have died of fright before he left the courtyard! Oh, it would be so delicious...
NIKOLAS: And what about that white shirt? Can you imagine it, speckled with blood, unbuttoned to reveal his neck...
(Beat.)
BAILEY: Anyways--
NIKOLAS: Yes, anyways...
BAILEY: Perhaps there is something we could come to.
NIKOLAS: Yes, a compromise. I was just thinking that.
BAILEY: You do not need to kill him, yes? You could leave him bloodied and dizzy, stumbling through the house where I could step in?
NIKOLAS:(Now excited.) Ooh, very smart! He would be much easier to scare, as well! Rattle the windows and flicker the lights-
BAILEY: He’ll be running for town in such a panic!
NIKOLAS: But he won’t make it, of course.
BAILEY: No, of course, we can’t have that. He’ll pass out in the yard, and we can say he had a terrible accident.
(They each smile wistfully for a beat.)
NIKOLAS: He has been gone quite a while, hasn’t he? How long does a restroom break last?
BAILEY: Shouldn’t be this long. Maybe he’s having... trouble...?
NIKOLAS: (After a pause.) We should check on him.
BAILEY: Yes, let’s.
(Lights dim, Nikolas and Bailey exit stage left. The scenery changes, now depicting the ground-floor bathroom.)
NIKOLAS: (Calling from offstage, lights still down.) Mister Moore? William?
(No reply.)
BAILEY: (Knocking on the door.) Are you alright in there? You’ve been gone awfully long...
(Silence.)
NIKOLAS: (To Bailey.) Should we check on him...? He may be...
BAILEY: What other choice do we have?
(Lights rise a Nikolas and Bailey enter the stage. William looks just as how he did before, but is laying on the floor of the restroom, unmoving.)
NIKOLAS: (Shocked, putting a hand on Bailey’s arm.) Oh my God...
BAILEY: (Wide eyes, equally shocked.) Is he...?!
(William does not move.)
(Nikolas crouches to put a hand over his chest, checking for a pulse.)
NIKOLAS: He is... He’s dead...!
BAILEY: How...?!
(Nikolas shifts and William’s body moves, his jaw falling open as his eyes stare vacant towards the ceiling.)
BAILEY: (Pointing.) Look! Nick! In his throat!
(Nikolas looks in, and his hand flutters to his mouth.)
NIKOLAS: Red and swollen, his cheeks look puffy... Could he have--?
BAILEY: An allergic reaction. It must be.
(A long beat of silence. Nikolas and Bailey look at each other.)
NIKOLAS: There goes a perfectly good meal.
(Blackout.)